Friday, March 27, 2009

Phaeton

The story of Phaeton goes something like this, Once upon a time there was a suspicious little boy who doubted the very words that came out of his mother’s mouth. When she told him that his father was the Sun God, Phoebus, he decided the best thing was to inquire the man himself.
He found Phoebus and Phoebus assured him that he was in fact his son, and to prove it he would grant him any wish that Phaeton desired.
Like any kid, Phaeton desired to drive daddy’s new shinny ride, the sun chariot. Phoebus told him that it was a bad idea, but granted him his wish anyway.
Well, surprise, surprise, Phaeton couldn’t control the chariot and the fiery horses pulled him around the constellations and through the skies leaving a burning trail behind them the whole time.
Shit, they dried up all the rivers on the earth and evaporated all the oceans, which pissed Neptune off a lot. They even burned the backs of the Ethiopians and turned their skin black, and in the process created the Sahara desert. No big deal.
Eventually, Mother Nature called to Jove for help, and Jove threw a bolt of lightning at the chariot to stop it, fighting fire with fire.
In the strike of lightning Phaeton fell to the earth and died. He was buried there all alone till his mother and sisters found him and wept rather uncontrollably till they straight up turned into poplar trees, and they’re still crying, just in the form of amber.
Phoebus was so pissed off that Jove had killed his son that he refused to drive the chariot and for one day the earth went without the sun.
The End.

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